Murphy's Law + Sharon's Theory= Not THAT Bad right?

There I was sitting alone in my car on the side of the busy freeway at what I could only hope was the bitter end of an absolutely horrific '09 series of unfortunately-diasterous events, people, and circumstances. I will spare you the previous 5.5 months of crap & focus on the past 6 hours.

As I felt the intensity of cars zooming past & did what anyone who has a terrible time tries to do (look forward- pun intended) I couldn't help but think " God, was this really necessary? Couldn't I at least make it to the golf course, finish my 'outlet' run with no knee issues or ipod problems, & then have this happen on my way home in the dark after my endorphins are released? or perhaps really early tomorrow morning on my way to work when my family would be asleep & ignore their phones? Or maybe even on my way home from work to get ready for the traditional 4th of July luau I've missed the past few years that I'd already be late to...but then I realized it's not God doing this to me.. it's that little-horned-red-man who has no sympathy whatsoever, and so I continued, " Satan. You have been really been working overtime since last year when I was on my way to work feeling oh so happy & things were absolutely perfect (I do remember my scholarship being one of those things). Now I missed a whole lotta church part of that year due to working noc on Sats & Sunday shifts, but I was reading my scriptures daily, praying, being a good girl & I recognized the tremendous blessings I was receiving that still I felt weren't completely deserved. Suddenly I thought of the pride cycle & just assumed that things were gonna go kerplunk. So I made an extra special effort to correct what needed fixing & attend regularly. You lost. I didn't miss a single Sunday until May '09 when I puked my guts out that morning & then that, of course according to Murphy's Law, lead to missing every Sunday in June due to this new job. poopy. Anyways last Summer I had hope to work with children but still enjoyed being with the elderly & then was called to be a Primary teacher while I worked as a CNA every Sunday off enjoying the best of both worlds. I was on fire. But oh no you were waiting 'til I was absolutely to the end of my rope to chop it from my grasp & let me fall into the dark hole. That time was today just about. Today was good until late afternoon. I stayed up way too late after Volleyball & my missionary work that didn't work out waiting for my family to arrive. Very tired at a 5 AM I awakened (I think my alarm making Cyrus cry was one of those things that became the ripple effect) & managed to shower & get ready plus got to work on-time YES! Bonded with a coworker, spent some time with my favvy little Mexican woman, day went by fast, & I even felt awesome as a girl after checking my radiator fluid just in case & feeling good about how well I know my baby (Bondo) & then home where I felt ignored (because I was), no one wanted to do anything, couldn't get people to help me look at my car, & just this flood over overwhelming stuff that I've dealt with. I'm pretty sure I suffer from depression ew! but seriously & really it sucks when you feel this way. The worst part is recognizing that you are depressed, that nothing you try is working, & your self-esteem is at an all time low & really knowing you have a problem just makes it suck more and is rather embarrassing. Who wants to hear a girl of all people rant about how their life reeks. All of a sudden just one thing lead to thinking or being reminded of another & soon I was balling again. I thought this is really pathetic... how is it that a girl with so much talent, a great family, smart, & blessed in so many ways can feel so hideous, dumb, start expecting failure, feel so lonely, even when not a day goes by she receives a compliment form someone, everyday at work multiple patients/residents tell her she is the best at this best in this complimenting her eyes, smile, hair, eyebrows?? etc etc. I guess it's just mental sickness. So after not going to have a good time seeing this really sweet guy because I didn't want to have bloodshot eyes or burden him & break down again I finally got composure over myself & invited him to run. He couldn't but I felt strong & I'd run with sunglasses if my eyes were that bad since people tend to look at you while you pass. I felt my lowest... really indescribable and what happens? I make it to the freeway right where you merge onto the 805-N & as soon as I get around that loop CLICK-CLICK-CRACK-POP rumble. I was smart & pulled over emergency lights stat, turned off the car, long blink, frustration, mannit!, put on my tennis shoes, then decided to call Mom. Ironic that I should always joke to my parents if I ever get stranded or in an accident that they'd be getting a call from me first. At least they were here in SD. So this attempt to run I was gonna go on to be my healthy outlet & turn my mood around didn't happen BUT as the ugliest sound that ever came from a car shouted & ghetto jerks persisted people were staring. Man you should've seen their faces. HAHA yes I told my mom This SUCKS! but as soon as I saw their silly faces I couldn't help but think dang it I'm the one riding in a junky-car-mess drawing all the attention getting weird looks. One guy's face was saying why are you driving? that is not driveable... can't you hear that? - cuz i'm too cheap for a tow truck that's why! My mom didn't look amused & in fact she looked so upset that my laughing did not even spark a tiny mouth slant. but Heck it's my car, my money, my unfortunate situation I was gonna laugh if I could.

Sharon's Optimistic Theory...
yes theory IS the correct term because it has been tested... I've been tested & well I'm publishing it.

1. People are flakey, lie way too much to me, ignore me, violate, and are just straight up mean because they know that when things can go wrong they will go wrong & since that is commonly the case with me they are only protecting themselves thus shutting me out of their lives. (p.s my theory may be a bit ridiculous but I'm choosing to cut ya'll some slack & assume the best intentions)

2. Then those who are continuously excusing themselves for being this way but yet do it again minutes later are just compulsive flakers & need help. I should be glad that at least I'm not like this.

3. While examining my knee the other day I've decided though I've been diagnosed with a painful Patella-Femoral Syndrome & the impossible to diagnose after so many Dr.s nasty pain, popping-grinding issue that everyone including doctors freak out of... simply the explanation for my retarded knee is that my kneecap split due to a heavy blow during an intense Soccer Championship (2nd Place) & then ignoring that for so many years caused some liagment or tendon to get sliced thus resulting in this! But I can still dance, run, walk, skip.... well sometimes.

4. My work keeps screwing up paychecks and paying me only for a couple days when they owe me a couple weeks & then getting me my corrected check a whole week later still missing hours because they are just circulating my money in the economy just a tad bit longer & don't worry guys I am boosting the slum-economy.

5. My professor dropped me from my Psych class for being tardy 3/4 classes even though I was injured & crippled on-time just had to limp from the boonies because though I spent most of the 3.5 hrs in class each time he was REALLY just thinking I was gonna drop it myself. Riiiiight!

6. Guys and only guys want to be your best friend not because they want to date you but because they seriously appreciate you & think you're awesome. When they are sick of you not liking them it's only because they are insecure & thus act up as jerks so don't take it personally. As for the girls they are just jealous... that's a load of crap!

7. You miss girl talk, slumber parties, having a group of girls that are your besties but hey having the best mom in the world & sister to talk to about everything from underwear to boys to new recipes to projects & shopping is far better than a group of girls that you'll always love but be interupted by someone's period or gossip drama.

8. that dog crap you ran into the other day..... just be glad you didn't trip over a rock, land your face in it, & have to get stitches plus show up to work the next day with a massive bump on your head.

9. So maybe you're not going to NY because you can't get people together BUT Ryan & Cable wanna travel the world with you & they are awesome guys- start small!

10. You got lost drove all the way to La Cost & back.... well you still had fun.

11. Medical Bills even with insurance= system screwing u over. Daddy & Mommy love me & that's why they share their insurance... look at how much you are really saving.

12. Car issues today... well since it hasn't been confirmed it's your cadillac converter... the good news... there's still time to pray that it will just be a loose pipe.

13. Not getting a Physiology class for Fall & really needing it... mmmmm I reeally don't know.

14. That speeding ticket you got. DUH Mr. policeman gave you the minimum penalty... you were going 14 over

15. Feeling ugly... well that's cuz u are but hey could be worse.. you could look like a guy ;)

16. Jaundice was ugly, sad, scary, & those spontaneous, inexplainable upper abdominal pains yikes but priesthood power, prayer, faith, and pain no more is Hallelujah!

17. Accidently tipping the salon girl $25 which was about half the cost... well Malori is good & she prob needed it.